Mistakes can Motivate & Inspire

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month and we’re kicking this month off by talking about Mistakes and how to make them work in your favor! 

Have you ever made a mistake and punish yourself for an extended period of time after the mistake was made? Whether replaying the event over and over, talking to yourself in a negative way, living in fear or simply not owning up to the mistake, making a mistake can appear to be the end of it all. Although making a mistake can be defeating and honestly quite frustrating, how we respond to a mistake exposes what we believe about ourselves, others and the world around us. Although we feel like we don’t have any control over our mistakes there are some ways we can still win. Here’s four ways your mistakes can motivate and inspire: 

1. Reflecting on a mistake increases success the next time the event takes place. No you know what not to do, the hope is that you’ll face the event differently. When we make mistakes it’s okay to meditate what we would have done differently and use that conversation to increase our success the next time. You can face that event with a new perspective and increased confidence that you can handle it differently this time. 

2. Making a mistake leaves room for personal growth. Ask yourself, why did the mistake happen? Was the mistake based on irrational thinking, lack of resources, little time, human error? With this kind of clarity you can identify your own areas of growth so that the mistake happens less.

3. Making a mistake teaches us valuable lessons about our feelings. If we are hard on ourselves this communicates how deeply affected we were about the event. I’d stretch and say it’s a feeling you don’t enjoy. If those feelings alter the way you see yourself, then we want to change our behavior. Conducting a body scan can teach you about how a mistake made you feel so you’re inspired to approach the situation differently. 

4. Making a mistake identifies where self-compassion is needed. How long did you punish yourself after a mistake was made? Did you call yourself names? Did you self-destruct or emotionally deflate. Did you give up your dreams? Did you act irrationally that led to a bigger problem? Did you lose yourself? That’s okay. You always want to honor your feelings at every stage - recognize them, identify them and call them by name and then give yourself grace. Giving grace means accepting it. Once you’ve accepted it, you can approach it differently. 

How to Find a Therapist

Hey this Isha, the founder of HoneyBeNatural. It’s been 8 years and we are still here. 

If you don’t know I have been transitioning HoneyBeNatural to be more focused and centered around Mental Health and wellness. Here’s some things to look forward to: 

• Mental Health: Therapy, Mental Health Tools, Mental Health Challenges 

• Wellness: Holistic Approaches to Healing, Plant-Based Feminine and Skincare 

• Lifestyle: Better quality of life and products to live life well, Clean eating

• Entrepreneurship: Black-owned businesses and products 

We are excited to offer you new content to enhance our quality of life. As a part of the transition, I have been in graduate school to be a therapist. I am 75% done with my program! Very soon I’ll be able to take clients as a part of my practicum and internship portions of the program, EXCITED! My focus will be women’s issues and kids. So in the spirit of wellness, let’s start with the therapy process: HOW TO FIND A THERAPIST. 

Who needs therapy? 

1. I believe everyone can benefit from seeing a therapist. I look at therapists as doctors for your mind. In my opinion, we go to the doctor for two things: Prevention or Emergencies. Therapy is no different. Therapy can be used to ensure you already have the tools to deal with life events OR Therapy can be used when a crisis has already begun. 

2. If you feel you may be suffering from a severe mental illness.

3. If your life feels stagnant, like you are drowning or suicidal. 

How to find a therapist: 

1. Ask someone you trust for a recommendation

2. Try search engines like: TherapyforBlackGirls or Psychology Today

Links: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/

Links: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

3. Try your in-network through your employer

How to prepare: 

1. Come ready to answer preliminary questions and signs forms on your first visit. No worries, it gets better. You’ll have to share a little, so your therapist can create your treatment plan. The more open you are, the more enhanced your treatment plan can be. 

2. Give it some time, 3 visits may be enough to know if you’ve found the right therapist for you - a month or two to start seeing results. Remember your success in therapy depends on your commitment to your own healing.

3. Keep notes between visits of things you want to address.

Things you may not know about therapy: 

1. Therapy has a beginning, a middle and end. It’s not intended to last forever. Depending on your concern, you may have an aggressive treatment plan in the beginning and as you become healthier you can transition to an AS-NEEDED basis. A therapist goal should be for you to heal, not to stay for longer than you need.

2. Most therapists have a specialty and there are many. Some therapists have multiple specialties and approaches and will choose the best approach for your concern. 

Speciality: Specialties are how you want your concern to addressed in therapy

A specialty is a technique like CBT Therapy or Holistic Therapy. A specialty uses different kinds of approaches, questions and strategies to address your concern. Sometimes you may vibe with a therapist better due to their approach and on the contrary not like a therapist because their approach doesn’t mesh well with your unique needs. Some therapists are flexible in their speciality and some not so much. Many search engines allow you to search by speciality before your visit.

Concerns: Concerns are the things you want to address in therapy Knowing some of the things you’d like to work on can help you pinpoint a therapist that is well-versed with your area of concern. 

Search Specialties and Concerns here:  https://www.therapyden.com/specialties

3. You can request that your therapist try new techniques or give you new tools. There isn’t a one size fits all approach to therapy. If you need more, ask for it. If you want to try a new technique ask your therapist for what you need. It is okay to say something isn’t working for you.

Misconceptions about therapist: 

1. Therapists tell you what to do. Nope, Therapists don’t tell you what to do. They are an unbiased listening ear with professional approaches to mental health challenges. You are empowered to make decisions that enhance your quality of life, the therapist is your guide.

2. Visiting a therapist means you have a mental illness. Nope, sometimes you just need a listening ear to help you sort out your thoughts or big decisions. Mental health exists on a spectrum, so there are some cases where insomnia, moodiness, etc can be a symptom of a larger issue, but let a professional help you sort things out. 

3. A therapist will diagnose me.  Not quite, not all therapists are able to diagnose you with a mental illness. Assessments and research can gauge if there are deeper issues. If your concern is out of the scope of your therapists license, they can recommend you to see a Psychiatrist, a medical doctor who diagnoses and treats mental illnesses or a Psychotherapist, such as a psychologist. It varies state by state what a LICENSED PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR CAN DO. Use this website as a tool for your search: https://scopeofpracticepolicy.org/ Make sure you confirm the license and credentials. 

4. All therapists are good. Now all have advanced level degrees and an active license, but all therapists are not created equal. Are all doctors good? Are all nurses gentle and kind? At the end of the day therapists are HUMANS. Unfortunately some are better than others. 

5. My first therapist is the one. Nope, sometimes you have to date around and find a good match. We’d hope that everyone's journey is an easy one, but sometimes it takes a few tries.
   
   How to Pay: 

1. Check your insurance first and search for a therapist that IN-NETWORK first. Using insurance can help you save. 

2. See if your employer offers free therapy sessions to employers. Many educational institutions have programs.

3. Don’t give up if you don’t have coverage, there's programs that offer discounts and cash-only options. How to Access Therapy and Other Mental Health Services If You Don’t Have Insurance

4. Many churches have complementary counseling services available to members. 

5. Try Open Path Collective, where sessions range from $30 to $60 or $30 to $80 for families. These therapists provide affordable, in-office and online
   psychotherapy sessions. In partnership with licensed mental health clinicians in private practice throughout the fifty states, Open Path Psychotherapy Collective provides middle and lower-income level individuals, couples, families, and children with access to affordable psychotherapy and mental health education services.